I Love You Enough

How will you ever know if I loved you enough?

When you are older and in your own world and with your own family and life, how will you ever know I love you enough? Here are my thoughts my sweet, amazing little guy as you lay next to me tonight.

I love you enough to listen to you snore in my ear so I can be there if you throw up later tonight since you have some kind of sickness. I’ll be there for you so you don’t have to go through it alone as I rub your back over the toilet and assure you it will pass.

I love you enough to let you explore your ideas even though I cringe inside a little when I realize your magic potion is going to take more clean up than I may want to face. I want you to know that your imagination is one of the best things about you and I’ll try with all my heart not to squander it.

I love you enough to say no when I know it will end with an all out meltdown. When something you want can’t happen and it’s not in your best interest. Not all the time because somedays I just don’t have the energy, but I will try on other days.

I love you enough to pretend I’m Catwoman and chase you and your brothers around when I really just want to sit and drink my coffee. Because I know someday all I will want to be is Catwoman again while I have all the time in the world to drink my coffee.

I love you enough to listen to my instincts. Do what I feel is best for you and always be your advocate. But also make sure you know there are consequences when you are wrong, as we all are at times.

I love you enough to ride that extra bumpy roller coaster because there is something magical in the way our eyes meet right before we go down that hill together. Even if I feel completely nauseous.

I love you enough to read that same story to you every night. Even though I want to read the new book I got from the library for my own sake. But I will enjoy your book with you again.

I love you enough to know when to hold your hand and when to let go. When I need to watch you fail or fall or figure it out. This sometimes is the hardest thing my little ones.

I love you enough to be proud of my extra belly weight that I will never get rid of. My body will never be the exact same after all of you and that’s okay.

I love you enough to always be there for you and your brothers anyway that I can for the rest of my life. Please always know this sweet sons. I would give up a thousand sleep full nights all over again for you. Because you are worth it all.